Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Spam

I like poetry. I buy books of it. I do write the occasional poem. Haiku is a bit beyond me, though. I do get it - 5, 7, 5.

I like SPAM. I eat SPAM. I lived for years in a country where you could buy a carton of Kent cigarettes with a can of SPAM taped to the end of it, as if the cigarettes weren't bad enough.

So I've found a site that has Haiku about SPAM.

Perfect! Some of these haiku are pretty good.

Here's the site, and here are my picks from the site.

All the Spamku are at http://mit.edu/jync/www/spam/

On to my favorite Spamku!

1402
Roseate pork slab
How you quiver on my spork!
Radiant light, gelled.

1421.
Critics will scoff: "These
aren't real haiku." We'll retort,
"So? SPAM ain't real meat."

82.
Downed U.S. pilot,
survival kit full of SPAM,
eats ants, sucks wool socks.

432.
Forty year-old man,
Pathetic, hunched at the screen.
Writing SPAM haiku.

449.
SPAM frying in lard
The whir of the kitchen fan
Summer of my youth

514.
Descartes on pig parts
Says: "I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM"
Deep philosophy

588.
Schrödinger's SPAM: One
minute the pork snouts are dead.
The next, they're alive!

630.
Salvador Dali
Paints soft, drooping cans of pork:
"Persistence of SPAM."

680.
Blanche to Stan: "I have
Always depended upon
The SPAM of strangers."

711.
A pink obelisk
comes to the apes. It imparts
both wisdom and SPAM.

1574.
Turkey-shaped SPAM for
Thanksgiving dinner. None give
thanks but the turkey.

1692.
Circled by Triscuits
Abbatoir aroma thick
The Pillar of Oink

2541.
The Nixon White House:
SPAM at state dinner. Chef says,
"I am not a cook."

3425.
Bhagavad Gita:
"Now I am become SPAM, the
destroyer of meals."

3458.
When I called for SPAM,
It answered, "Call me Legion,
For I am many."

3467.
Like a new piglet
Slick with slime, SPAM emerges
Making sucking sounds.

3471.
In mud you frolicked
Till they cut, cleaned and canned you.
How now, thou ground sow?

3545.
"Use all but the oink!"
"Can it and color it pink!"
Marketing genius.

4791.
With the empty can
Held up to my ear, I hear
The sound of the sty.

5685.
I finished the SPAM
Last night, and today I feel
Pigs' eyes upon me.

5771.
In the thawing snow,
The can's blue corner peeps out
Like spring's first crocus.

3 comments:

  1. I saw your post as a challenge to create some Spam Haiku, but Joe Wilson kept popping into my head.

    Free care for Jose?
    Joe Wilson is a liar.
    Money flows his way.

    Maybe I'll be inspired at lunch time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha. After I wrote it, I thought I liked this variation a little better:

    Free care for Jose?
    Joe Wilson is a liar.
    Money flows Joe's way.

    It sort of plays on the Jose, Joe, and Joe's Way.

    ReplyDelete