Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Jean and Glen Visit

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Divorce, at Last

Nearly two years to the day after I began it, I am divorced. The judge ordered the divorce on December 19, 2005.

There's nothing to say about the outcome other than it's the best one we could make happen for the kids, and that's all I wanted. I'm very happy about that.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Christmas Lights

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Working at the US Naval Institute - All Over

Working at the US Naval Institute is over for me. I worked there as a Senior Programmer/DBA for four years and nine months.

It was the best information technology job I ever had, working in the finest IT group ever.

Tha Naval Institute's web site is at www.usni.org.

For me, it's on to new things.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Thanksgiving Day

We had a nice thanksgiving day with Annabelle, Carol, Joe, and Julie. We all have much to be thankful for in 2005, not the least of which is the ability to spend time with family and friends.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Family Heritage

Dad in the US Navy during WWII, me in the US Navy in the early 1980's. Dad's brothers, and their father, my grandfather, fought in WWI and WWII.

It's ironic that Jeannie does genealogy as a hobby, because she seems to be trying to cut me out of the kid's family tree, both literally and practically. She is denying visitation with the kids in contravention of the separation agreement we both signed, the same agreement she is seeking to have enforced by court order. She wants to move to Washington state with the kids, so I won't be able to see them other than very occasionally, and therefore won't have an ongoing relationship with them.

We all have our families - good, bad or indifferent.
We can choose the level of interaction we wish to have with our immediate and extended family members. I think it's generally a good decision to overlook minor quirks and foibles in immediate family, and to try to maintain a relationship. I also think it's a good idea to overlook, or try to resolve, major differences as well. Relationships with family members are valuable.

The consensus that children of divorce benefit in myriad ways from having a relationship with both their parents is deep and wide, in every community where such opinions are offered.

I can only imagine that Jeannie's anger toward, and hatred of me are so great that she can't bring herself to acknowledge this, and to do the right and best thing for her children.

It's been two years since we separated formally, and several years since we separated within our house. I wonder if Jeannie will ever find a way to get past her anger and resume a normal life. For MIles and Annabelle's sake, I hope so.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

My friends Tanya and Larry were married today, October 1st, 2005.
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All the photos I took are here

Sunday, September 18, 2005


Me, dealing with legal stuff, instead of enjoying our new house
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My divorce proceeds on the circuit court's schedule. Pre trial hearing in November, trial in December. It's Jeannie's divorce too. I wonder what she thinks about it? I wish it were over.

Before those hearings, Jeannie is going back to court to have the restraining order that prevents her from moving the kids out of Maryland lifted. This will be her third try at this. These trips to court cost between $500.00 to $1,000.00 apiece for each of us.

Jeannie is not allowing the kids to visit me. This is in contravention of a judges order. It's also wrong, and bad for the kids - which is exactly why a judge ordered visitation. Jeannie must know better than the judge, me, and every professional that says that two parents are better than one.

The court ordered Jeannie and I to mediation. Mediation is always ordered in cases where custody is disputed according to the court. It failed utterly. It was probably the first time a mediation ended when the mediator evinced too much frustration to go on. The mediator dismissed us. It was a telling thing - I now feel like everything that Jeannie does right going forward will have to be court ordered.

I'm not sure how I feel about all this struggle. It certainly costs a lot of money. I think we are spending a bunch of money to have a judge decide whether Jeannie can remove me from the kids lives, whether I or the kids want that.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Monday, July 04, 2005

Gettysburg 142nd Anniversary

Kim and I went to Gettysburg National Military Park for the 142nd anniversary of the battle of Gettysburg. Here we are at the Virginia Memorial, with Robert E. Lee on Traveller, and park historians, waiting for the start of the Pickett's charge (Longstreet's Assault) battle walk.

Virgina Memorial
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Each year, I try to spend some time developing a little more insight into what went on during this battle. Going on these anniversary walks, it's remarkable to me to listen to some of the folks who have encyclopedic knowledge of very arcane aspects of the battle. Where do they find the time?

The themes that have evolved that define my understanding of the battle are leadership and estimation. Lee underestimated the leadership and esprit de corps of the Army of the Potomac. He overestimated the mettle of the soldiers on the ground in his own Army of Northern Virginia.

Meade's army was at it's zenith in July 1863. There are numerous examples of extremely competent leadership on the union side from Meade down to the regimental level on all three days of the battle, and in getting the army safely concentrated in Gettysburg before Lee's army could defeat them in detail, as was Lee's objective.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Monday, June 06, 2005

Happy Birthday Annabelle

Happy Birthday Annabelle
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Annabelle is 13 this year. Now she and Miles are both teenagers.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Joe Gets His MBA

Joe graduated from JHU with an MBA, no small feat. Now, he can masterfully administrate a business. Congratulations Joe!

Before the graduation Julie took a bunch of us out to dinner at Petit Louis, where the food and wine are delicious.

Kim and I at Petit Louis Bistro

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Land of Little Horses

Emily and Annabelle at the Land of Little Horses in Gettysburg, PA

Emily, Annabelle, Kim and I went to the Land of little Horses today. All the rest of the pictures are here.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


Me giving the best man's toast at Joe and Julie's wedding reception

I hope that Joe and Julie's marriage doesn't end up like mine - which, right now, is in the end stage of a year of separation, culminating in what is shaping up to be an acrimonious divorce.

People, or at least their desires, change over time. If you want to stay in a healthy relationship with someone, it's a good idea to work on maintaining a large measure of respect for that person. That may require telling them things that you don't respect about them, or accepting those things. When you lose respect for someone it's difficult or impossible to love them.

Honesty is critical. It's remarkable how many people behave ethically in their work relationships, but are dishonest in their personal relationships. Staying in a relationship after it's over is a mistake. I made it. Staying in a relationship in order to avoid being responsible for one's own life and livelyhood is pathetic.

Ending a relationship should be done without rancor. No one, save sociopaths, is proud of the times they treated someone badly or unfairly.

It can be hard to separate the emotional response from the intellectual response. But it can be done.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Robert E. Lee equestrian monument at the Newcomer farm, Sharpsburg, MD
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Kim and I visited Antietam National military Park and on the way home I noticed this equestrian status of RE Lee, located at the Newcomer farm. It was erected by the current owner of the farm, William Chaney. He outbid the Park Service for the place and then put this up - he is a descendant of Lee's. He also completely renovated the Newcomer farmhouse, and did a nice job.

A lot of people want this monument taken down, because it is in the middle of the rear of the Union lines as the were disposed on the day of the actual battle.

It's a good looking monument, and I think it's fine right where it is - Lee and all of his army passed this way on their way to their ultimate positions west of here.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

The Bavarian Inn
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We had a delicious lunch here after visiting Antietam National Military Park. The people in Sharpsburg, MD have made sure that their little town doesn't become a tourist attraction in and of itself, like Gettysburg. I don't think there is a single decent restaurant in the town. The Bavarian Inn is acress the Potomac river in Shepherdstowm WV.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Happy Birthday Miles

Miles turned 14 on March 5, 2005 . I like this picture, because it shows the tension that exists between Miles and Annabelle now.

Monday, February 28, 2005

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Advice to Miles: Get flowers for the woman in your life. Do it often. Tulips are good, roses good too. It shows that you care, and are thinking about her.

Advice to Annabelle: Be suspicious of a man who gives you flowers too frequently.

Sunday, February 27, 2005


Annabelle, Miles and I have had many fun day and overnight trips to Gettysburg, PA. The first was to visit the Land of Little Horses.

This past summer (2004) we found the wienermobile parked behind the Farnsworth Inn and took this picture.

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Yashica T4 Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Miles Schoolwork

Dinnertime Together is Really Important

Miles has been living with us to help him achieve his goals for school. He's been here three weeks or so, and so far has made it to school on time every day (except when he was ill) and completed, and turned in, on time, every homework assignment. Good work! Keep it up, Miles!

Working at Home

Self Portait

I'm lucky - I have a job that allows me to work anywhere there is a high speed internet connection available, like in my home.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Winter Ennui

Miles Lunch with Me
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Winter can breed a variety of discontent. Available light is less prevelant during the winter months, resulting in photographs like this one.

All kinds of of other things are less available as well. Our produce comes from south america, our other needs are fulfilled from God knows where. Even lunch in a suburban chain restaurant, perfect for a teenager under normal circumstances, can be unsatisfying.

Under-resourced, everyone trudges toward spring.

We need to be mindful of the good things to come. They are in the offing.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Kids and Cats

Annabelle, Wimpy and Muffin
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Miles and Annabelle do love our cats.

Annabelle's new shorter hair. It looks good!
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